Reticent Man

Went to play early to catch the Neal game.  Neal was there but I couldnt get in the game.  Ended up playing 40-80 instead.  I didn't win but I gained confidence in that game.  I can beat it.  But I don't know if I should play it, I'm certainly not rolled for it.  I'm having trouble figuring out exactly what the best path is.  I want to complete my alpha. I want to make money but I'm not playing enough poker.  And I skipped crossfit.

I did figure out that all my bad feelings from poker come from the same thing.  I make a mistake that compounds into a bad beat or big loss and I get very angry at the situation when it's really my mistake that causes the anger.  I need to either stop that or just stop playing when that happens.

What should I do?  Try to put in 150 hour months until my bankroll is good again?  I could still bust.
I will see

Poker B
Alpha D
Energy C
Motivation B
Mood D
Body C